


You traitor

by Eknodine (Eknomind)



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 23:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6774763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eknomind/pseuds/Eknodine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a strange man bribing Valtteri's cat in his kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You traitor

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by prompt
> 
>  
> 
> _You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????_
> 
>  
> 
> from AU master list (http://dickren.tumblr.com/post/141623534133/au-master-list)

Valtteri woke up at Turbo’s meowing. He grunted and got up from bed as he knew one of his neighbours is already trying to get him evicted and could get some ground in the board if his cat kept waking people up in the middle of night. He had talked with the other neighbours and apparently the difficult granny thought he looked like a serial killer. He then heard a loud clank from his kitchen. There was no way Turbo could have gotten up into his cupboards, meaning someone had broken in. Valtteri hoped that whoever it was, would be as scared of his murderous look as the not-so-friendly neighbourhood snooper. He took his hockey stick as quietly as possible and snuck to the kitchen. He was faced with the most bizarre sight he had ever seen. There was a half-naked blonde man in his kitchen, bribing Turbo with tuna fish he had found while ransacking Valtteri’s fridge. Valtteri decided to stay in the dark where he could easily see the man thanks to the light radiating from his fridge, but the man could not see him. 

“Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my apartment?” Valtteri questioned, showing the man that he was armed while keeping his face only dimly lit and menacing. The man turned to look at him and Valtteri noticed he was wearing sunglasses even though it was night and he was in a dark apartment.  
“Wait your apartment? Well, I was surprised to see that Sebastian had gotten himself a cat despite being more of a dog person,” the man joked and from his thick monotone Valtteri deduced he had been blessed with the company of another Finn, albeit it being a drunk one. Now he was getting himself kicked out of the building for sure.  
“Hei, listen up. This is a really bad time for anyone else to be in my apartment so could you maybe, um, you know, get out. Like right now,” Valtteri tried to reason with the man, switching to Finnish hoping that would get his message through. “Also, I would appreciate if you would stop feeding my cat. He is too fat as it is.” The mysterious drunkard seemed to take interest at that. “Nah, he ain’t fat, he just has big bones,” the intruder joked and scraped rest of the tuna to Turbo’s bowl. Valtteri watched helplessly as his traitor of a cat dashed to the bowl, making sure to brush against the other Finn’s legs in the process. “Turbo, are you seriously telling me you like this weirdo?” Valtteri resorted back to talking to his cat, which he did every time he was nervous. The other man laughed. “You really named your cat ‘Turbo’?” Valtteri blushed. The whole thing was stupid, but there was no way he, a grown up man, would ever admit having originally named his cat Mika Häkkinen after the famous racing driver. It had been bad enough when everyone had heard that he used to call his dogs Jean Alesi and Rubens Barrichello when he was a child. Not a mistake he wanted to repeat, hence Mika became Turbo and ended up being turbosized as well.  
“Yes. As it seems you already got to first names with my cat, maybe you’d like to share your name with me as well.”  
“Kimi.”  
“I’m Valtteri. Now Kimi, would you _please_ get the fuck out of my flat?”  
“Nah, I like it here.”  
“What about Sebastian or whatever his name was?” Kimi snorted and pretended to be thinking about it.  
“Can wait. He doesn’t have a cat I could spoil. This is way more interesting than spoiling his kids.” Valtteri glanced angrily at Turbo, who was circling around Kimi’s legs and purring. He threw his hands up in the air with frustration. “Fine. But you’ll be sleeping on the couch.” 

Valtteri woke up in the morning later than anticipated and it took a while for him to realize that it was because Turbo had not come to sit on his face like he usually does when he gets bored waiting for breakfast. Valtteri got up, determined to find out what had happened to his cat. He checked the kitchen only to become even more confused at the absence of the cat. He remember Kimi only after he had walked into the living room and found Turbo sitting on Kimi’s face and meowing. Valtteri spent a minute wondering how on earth Kimi could sleep through all this when he could not even after all these years with Turbo. Valtteri snatched Turbo on his arms and carried it to the kitchen, feeding the cat while waiting for his coffee to drop. Kimi wandered to the kitchen a while later, eyes still closed. Valtteri thought that he had simply ended up there by following the smell of bacon. Valtteri pushed a cup of coffee in front of his grumpy guest, earning a nod that was pretty much Finnish version of “I love you”. “Don’t mention it,” Valtteri said, amused, and started moving bacon from pan to Kimi’s plate.

“So, what brings you to Monaco?” Valtteri asked. Kimi blinked at him. “What do you mean Monaco?” Valtteri shook his head not quite believing that Kimi could have gotten himself to an entirely different country without even noticing.  
“Yes. You are in Monaco. Where were you supposed to be then?”  
“In Switzerland. Are you sure this is Monaco?” Valtteri sighed and opened the curtain. He had a magnificent view towards the sea. Kimi covered his eyes, still hungover from last night. “Fine, this is Monaco. How on earth did I end up in here?” Valtteri shrugged his shoulders. Kimi seemed to consider the situation for a while, but made his decision when Turbo hopped back onto his lap. “You know what. I’d do it again.” Valtteri glared at him. “You do that again and I won’t save you from Turbos attempt to suffocate you,” Valtteri threatened. Kimi got up with a peculiar look in his eyes. Suddenly his hands were on Valtteri’s hips and their lips made contact. When Valtteri broke the kiss, panting, Kimi grinned. “I guess that’s a risk I have to take”. Valtteri made a mental note to always trust on Turbo’s judgement.


End file.
